Dear Whoever…, #76

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Dear Whoever Has Been Fancying Another Short Story, September 1st, 2012

I think this one is one of my better ones compared to what I’ve been posting. Enjoy. For now this is entitles “The Light at the End of the Tunnel” because that’s what my prompt was. I really plan on expanding on this when I get the chance or inspiration. Feel free to comment and critique on it.
I stared bleary eyes at my strange surroundings. They were familiar and yet different. I lie on some type of cot with wheels and staring down at me was my little brother’s face ; his eyes were big, red, and puffy. I tried to move but my chest was sore, I settled for moving my head to the other side. There were medics, police, and firefighters alike standing in I now realized as my family’s house’s living room. Just as my fuzzy brain tried to connect two piece together, a plump woman leaned over me, “Can you tell me your name, hun?” She spoke in a calm, slow, soft voice as if I was a deer she was trying not to startle.

“Carmen.”, my voice was softer than I’d ever heard it and my chest felt as if it were on fire.

“Good. Good. Now look here, keep your eyes open.”, she shone a little light in my eyes. She walked away after harassing me just a bit further. She left me there with Joh just like it had been when I woke up. My vision cleared and his face became slightly less blurry. I had to tell someone. I just had to tell someone about what I’d seen.

“Trust me?”, I startled. I didn’t want him to think I’d gone off the deep end.

“Sure.”, he said, to his credit, almost instantaneously.

My voice started out raspy and low as I thought of how to say best what I had only thought and felt, yet it was so hard to explain, “A darkness and a complete utter silence was all I saw and heard. I didn’t feel my heart beat. It was just silence, one like I’ve never known.” I paused to lick my dry, cracked lips before going on. “My blood didn’t pump through my body. I couldn’t hear it coursing through me. I was dead. I knew I had to be. I was reaching forward towards the light. Moving, shuffling, towards it slowly. I was almost there. About to let my fingers play in it’s inviting rays, it’s warm embrace, when I heard my name. It echoed suddenly, very loudly in the still silence.” I shut my eyes, like a blink that lasted way too long, remembering what I did next, what I felt next, “I turned around, ever so slowly. Kinda like sleepwalking it was. Drifting as if on air. I turned towards the sound. And that’s the last thing I remember before I woke up like this.” That’s when I woke up. My eyes stung as I opened them, I hadn’t even realized they’d been shut the whole time, almost like I’d been sleeping again. I saw my baby brother’s young face shadowed darkly with a mixture of deep concern and worry. I felt awful. Seeing him like that hurt worse than my chest on fire. An immense feeling of grief for causing his happy, cheerful face to look that aged, afraid, and dark.

“You okay?”, I asked him before I could stop myself. I knew his answer already. Still, I wanted him to confirm that he was alive and well and that I wasn’t just hallucinating. —

That’s it, sorry. I don’t even remember where I was going with this one but I promise I’ll come back to it. I apologize if it’s confusing. I realize that the object of 5 minute “quick writes” are to quickly write without thinking, plotting, or anything of the like but for this I sort of edited it as I was typing of this post, tweaked it if you will, and it turned out differently then was intended thus the confuzzlement of if the character is still dreaming or awake and speaking and just flashing back. Needless to say, its needs more tweaking before it can have a part in any of my books. Not bad for a series of five minute writing sessions though, at least I think. Comment away(: -eshy,


Dear Whoever…, #74

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Dear Whoever Fancies A Short Story Or Two,                                                             August 30th, 2012

This is a little tidbit I wrote from a prompt that I received in English class one time. The prompt was simply “The trapdoor in my closet…”

So here’s my spin on it:

The trapdoor in my closet leads to a stairwell that goes up to the attic bedroom that our house doesn’t have. Our house is a quaint one story house with three bedrooms with no attic. But in my imagination, it does, and nobody knows about it. A slide is hidden behind a stack of books. It winds down to my own private garden, full of yellow roses and a stone bench with a little tree with green leaves standing next to it. A little black pup awaits me. Slowly a smile spreads over my face as it jumps and softly yips in excitement of my approach.


This one was so short and I feel bad for the poorly written short posts lately. Even if it does mean I’m posting more often. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers. So like I was saying,  I feel bad because my posts lately have been so short, because of that I’m offering up another little short one.

The prompt was something of this sort: You just won a five day trip to Paris and GO!

My response was this:

“I won a five day trip to Paris!”, I almost screamed I has so much glee within me.

“What?”, my mom asked.

“I won a trip to Paris!”, I repeated automatically with just as much excitement as the first time.

After much preparation, she took me to the airport and my adventure began. I arrived on time and the first person I run into was an artist.

—That’s where my answer ends. I totally meant to add more to that and write like a whole short story about an artist and how they change my character’s life somehow and all this… Needless to say it never got finished.

These are definitely not my best and I normally don’t share my writing or my thoughts so please feel free to comment and critique but don’t be too harsh. Be truthful but not just downright rude. I’ll leave that to your discretion.

-whatdya think? eshy,


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