Dear Whoever,                                                                                        2.25.2012.


                      Today was Dylan’s birthday party. It was boring but okay. Soccer tryouts are approaching. I should be eating healthier. I have had a sore throat for atleast a week and I really hope it goes away. Mom’s been asking what I want to do for my birthday. I almost wanted to cry. It’s 2 days away, a little late to plan anything and even if I did I have like 1 real true friend and 3 shallow school friends. 1 real friend-in the-making. I saw this girl at school passing out her invitations to her party and her birthday is March 3rd. March 3rd. More than 2 days away. It just made me sad that nobody gave a crap about mine. One of my friends at school was saying, “Guess who’s birthday’s coming up?” I hope they don’t plan anything but then I do. I thought about going to Knott’s with just me and Sarah, but I decided against it because of the cost and Spring Blowout in April. Then I thought Chuckie Cheese with just my friends. Then I decided against it because well I never really did like that place and once again you know of my shortage of friends. The next thought I had was dinner, let’s go to dinner. But then I think dinner would be awkward with all my family and then my few friends because at a table and waiting, you’re forced to have conversation. So then I thought hey dinner with the fam and something with my friends the next day or something. But once again. You can’t really have a party when you’d only invite one person. So I was thinking if Grandma and Grandpa are in the state, we’d take them out to dinner- they aren’t going to be in the state. I’m settling on taking Sarah, Kim, Mom, Mendy and her family(maybe), to dinner at Vince’s. That’s enough about my birthday though because after all it’s just another day.

                             Tomorrow we are going to Kris’ gravesite in the desert. You know the place. We’re going to repaint the white part and then darken up the lettering with black. Mom bought this little white picket fence stuff that we’re going to replace the fencing that blew away. We bought some fake flowers and zipties. Mom’s gonna even leave your memorial card there. And we made cupcakes because you know he was Krissy Cupcake to everyone. I’ll probably cry tomorrow. It’s weird how I can say that without shame like I couldn’t before. Apparently I cry enough now that I’m used to it. I just opened a birthday card from Uncle C and Aunt C. It was really nice. They’ve never done anything like that before. It kinda makes me wonder, did they send me that just cause well you’re gone? I’d like to think they didn’t. But in all reality, I think it’s because of you. That being said, thanks Dad. Well I’ll be sure to write you tomorrow and tell you how it went. I love you ya know?                                                                                            -Forever and always with love, eshy,