Dear Readers 2,                                                8/26/2011

((this is another guest post and here’s the link to the new contest for the end of this month:https://eshysletters.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/dear-whoever-31/ , enjoy, eshy! ))

So, as you might’ve guessed, this isn’t really eshy. I’m afraid she’s currently locked in the metaphorical Closet of Despair. I, on the other hand, am lounging in the Café du Nord, about two blocks south of the CD.
Anyways, I’ve been working on a script idea that I’d like to share with you, quickly, before eshy realises that mime doors aren’t real and that she can leave the room with the invisible door whenever she so chooses.
Here goes nothing:
THE FROSTED GLASS
BY
LA STRANEZZA
SCENE I
NARRATOR
Dramatis Personae:
Basil (me)…The omniscient, Ron Howard-ish narrator.
Rex…The guy with no fashion taste.
Neil…The really cool one.
Axel…The one with the awesome name.
Lilith…The female one. There are some other defining qualities to her, but I—
LILITH
Hey! That’s discriminatory!
BASIL
What is?
LILITH
Calling me the female one!
BASIL
But you are female! And how are you even talking to me? I’m a bodiless voice that tells people everything that’s happening because they’re too stupid to figure it out themselves!
AUDIENCE MEMBERS
(In sheep-like unity)
Hey! We resent that!
BASIL
No you don’t.
AUDIENCE MEMBERS
(As before)
Okay…
LILITH
I’m suing you for this!
BASIL
You can’t sue me! I’m the Narrator!
LILITH
Speaking of which, how come the Narrator’s a man, anyway? Shouldn’t the Narrator be female, to balance out the primarily male cast?
BASIL
Erm…
SCENE II
LILITH
After a long and drawn out lawsuit, I won the right to be the Narrator and Basil has resigned himself to be a bit character that interacts with Axel. So, where were we again? Oh yes…
SCENE III
(Also known as Scene I)
(Also known as Act I, Scene I)
(Also known as…Oh, forget it.)
SETTING: NEIL’S APARTMENT. An intervention for Rex. Basil, Neil, and Axel all sit on the couch opposite Rex.
NEIL
We need to talk, Rex. You see, the thing is—
BASIL
—You can’t dress yourself to save your life.
AXEL
That was my line, damn you!
BASIL
Silence! All the lines should be mine!
REX
So? It’s not like I’m acting like Basil there,—
BASIL
Stealing everyone’s lines!
NEIL
Yes, that. If you don’t stop, Basil, we’re going to have to—
BASIL
Call Lilith?
LILITH
Yeah?
AXEL
Oi! Lille, he keeps stealin’ our lines.
LILITH
Basil, don’t you remember what we talked about?
BASIL
I’m not talking to you! I should be Narrator!
LILITH
Silence!
BASIL
Yes, ma’am…Please don’t hurt me.
LILITH
Good. Now continue while I sit back and enjoy the Narrators-only Jacuzzi.
BASIL
(Under breath)
Dumb lawyers…
NEIL
Anyways, you gotta stop dressing like that, Rex. It makes us all look bad. I mean, what do you think people say when they me snazzily dressed hanging out with all you guys? I mean, sure, Axel’s got that cool name thing going on, but you and Basil? You guys kinda just suck it up completely.
REX, BASIL, AND AXEL all stare at NEIL coldly.
BASIL
Who votes we throw Neil out that window over there?
EVERYONE (-NEIL)
AYE!
NEIL is thrown out the window. There is much celebration.
BASIL
Yaay! Now let’s go to the Narrators-only Jacuzzi!
LILITH
Yeah…No. You guys can all have a party in Neil’s bathtub if you’d like, though.
BASIL
Ah, what the heck.
BASIL EXITS INTO THE BATHROOM, FOLLOWED BY AXEL.
REX
Okay, they’re gone. Let me up there.
REX vanishes abruptly in a poof of Narratordom.
REX
Whoa…is that  James Earl Jones?
THE END.

             -In close, La Stranezza (Kid)http://ofmyinsanity.wordpress.com/

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