Dear Whoever…, #78

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Dear Whoever Is Still Around After My Disappearance,   4.10.13
                 Here’s a little something I wrote today in class. Don’t be overly critical of it because it’s my first 5minute draft. I have absolutely no idea where it’s headed. Uh, hope you like it. It is also the first thing I’ve wrote in awhile so if it is rusty I apologize. Oh and thanks to all my readers who are awesome cause they stuck around when I went missing and are still here to be reading this. Stay tuned for some book reviews, movie reviews, and more updates on this story. Suggestions, critiques, and comments are always welcome. Apologize for any typos in advance touch screens totally hate me. Here it goes:
       She shifted, tugging her shirt down, hoping the kid behind her wouldn’t notice the scars. It’d been a year and they hadn’t faded a bit. They stuck out, bright red and angry reminders against her pale, untanned skin. Just as they hadn’t faded from her body, they certainly hadn’t faced from her mind. During the day, they diminished all other thoughts and during her attempts at sleep, they consumed her dreams. No matter what she did, looks like she wouldn’t be forgetting any time soon. Of course, she already knew that. She tried and failed. Again. Just like every other day.

         That’s it. Hope you liked it. Well like I said, stay tuned. I should be posting about once a week from now on. Thanks to all who read it.                       -forever&always, esherton

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Dear Whoever…, #77

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Dear Whoever Happens To Hear This Little Conversation I Have With Myself,                                       November 18th, 2012

Me: What have you been doing with your life?

Self: Well you/I’ve read the 2nd Percy Jackson book.

Me: That’s great! But what has come of your 2 NaNo novels you were writing this month?

Self: Well, what happened was……..I don’t know to tell you the truth. It started out with an amazing idea and then you didn’t feel that passion, that desire you get to spill out all your thoughts, all your ideas, your words were boring, senseless, plotless, characterless. In short-nothing happened. You failed per usual and now you, we more specifically, are questioning whether or not you even like writing anymore. If you don’t enjoy writing anymore what else is there? There are no sports. You have no friends. You cannot talk to people easily. What will become of you? Do you like writing anymore? Isn’t that what you always aspired to be when you grew up? Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

Me: Honest to honest, I don’t have anything to say. I feel no happiness, no delight, no joy, no smiling or laughter. My life is void. a waste of space, of air, of oxygen, there is no reason for it’s existance. I’m not benefiting myself or anyone else by being around. Nobody seems to notice, let alone enjoy my presence. What is the meaning of my existence? Is there one? Or perhaps I was a mistake. No my Creator makes no mistakes. What then, pray tell, is the  matter with me? Why can I not create as I did before? Has the one aspect of my life I so enjoyed been tainted by death as well? I fear it is so. And this, above all else, depresses me. That even my beloved escape, I cannot escape to anymore.

Self: You’re not even talking to me your Self anymore. Now you’re just talking all depressingly. Not hoping for pity or understanding but some way to change.

 

I suck at self dialogue. Let it be noted ; add it to the list. I started a writing club and ya think hey in a group full of weirdos I might connect with someone and have a friend just as weird as me- NOPE. I sit by myself even then. I think I must smell or am just that repulsive. I don’t know why I’m talking so formal and eloquent to insult myself. I don’t know why I’m even insulting myself when I’m pretty happy with myself, except I’m not happy. Not in one way. And now I’m doing the one thing I cannot stand and said I wouldn’t do since the beginning of this blog: I’m turning it into a diary about my personal life. Now even my blog isn’t even original, now it’s like the vast majority of blogs out there nothing but diary pages online for everyone in the world with a computer to see. How dumb is that?

Anywho, whoever reads this letter,  and managed to get through all the above, and is reading this right now, what does writing mean to you? Why write? Why choose that form of art to create? These, mainly the first one, is one I’m struggling with, I have to speak in front of my writing club again and have a speech prepared for why I should be president. I mainly think I should be president of the club is because I’m the one that created it. But I can’t just say that. I have to be nice and give reasons and smile and do all that stuff that I’m not fond of. So it would be immensly appreciated if you could throw me a bone(hypothetically of course), and comment below some ideas, I’ll see them, go through, find which ones apply to me and try my best to make a speech. Unless of course you want the other canidates to win, in that case, why are you even reading my blog to start with?

To all my regular patrons, it’s good to be back. I’m so sorry I forgot about my blog. This year as been crazy no? I will return with better, actually meaningful, and somewhat hopefully beneficial posts that are not all about my life. Maybe I’ll even post a short story or two, an excerpt of my NaNo novel, or a book review. Till then I wish you all have a happy Thanksgiving and remember to be thankful for all you have. And I mean all. Even your annoyingly loud neighbor who thinks they can play the clarinet exceptionally well at midnight. ALL.                                                                                                                               -farewell for now, eshy,

Dear Whoever…, #76

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Dear Whoever Has Been Fancying Another Short Story, September 1st, 2012

I think this one is one of my better ones compared to what I’ve been posting. Enjoy. For now this is entitles “The Light at the End of the Tunnel” because that’s what my prompt was. I really plan on expanding on this when I get the chance or inspiration. Feel free to comment and critique on it.
~~~~~
I stared bleary eyes at my strange surroundings. They were familiar and yet different. I lie on some type of cot with wheels and staring down at me was my little brother’s face ; his eyes were big, red, and puffy. I tried to move but my chest was sore, I settled for moving my head to the other side. There were medics, police, and firefighters alike standing in I now realized as my family’s house’s living room. Just as my fuzzy brain tried to connect two piece together, a plump woman leaned over me, “Can you tell me your name, hun?” She spoke in a calm, slow, soft voice as if I was a deer she was trying not to startle.

“Carmen.”, my voice was softer than I’d ever heard it and my chest felt as if it were on fire.

“Good. Good. Now look here, keep your eyes open.”, she shone a little light in my eyes. She walked away after harassing me just a bit further. She left me there with Joh just like it had been when I woke up. My vision cleared and his face became slightly less blurry. I had to tell someone. I just had to tell someone about what I’d seen.

“Trust me?”, I startled. I didn’t want him to think I’d gone off the deep end.

“Sure.”, he said, to his credit, almost instantaneously.

My voice started out raspy and low as I thought of how to say best what I had only thought and felt, yet it was so hard to explain, “A darkness and a complete utter silence was all I saw and heard. I didn’t feel my heart beat. It was just silence, one like I’ve never known.” I paused to lick my dry, cracked lips before going on. “My blood didn’t pump through my body. I couldn’t hear it coursing through me. I was dead. I knew I had to be. I was reaching forward towards the light. Moving, shuffling, towards it slowly. I was almost there. About to let my fingers play in it’s inviting rays, it’s warm embrace, when I heard my name. It echoed suddenly, very loudly in the still silence.” I shut my eyes, like a blink that lasted way too long, remembering what I did next, what I felt next, “I turned around, ever so slowly. Kinda like sleepwalking it was. Drifting as if on air. I turned towards the sound. And that’s the last thing I remember before I woke up like this.” That’s when I woke up. My eyes stung as I opened them, I hadn’t even realized they’d been shut the whole time, almost like I’d been sleeping again. I saw my baby brother’s young face shadowed darkly with a mixture of deep concern and worry. I felt awful. Seeing him like that hurt worse than my chest on fire. An immense feeling of grief for causing his happy, cheerful face to look that aged, afraid, and dark.

“You okay?”, I asked him before I could stop myself. I knew his answer already. Still, I wanted him to confirm that he was alive and well and that I wasn’t just hallucinating. —

That’s it, sorry. I don’t even remember where I was going with this one but I promise I’ll come back to it. I apologize if it’s confusing. I realize that the object of 5 minute “quick writes” are to quickly write without thinking, plotting, or anything of the like but for this I sort of edited it as I was typing of this post, tweaked it if you will, and it turned out differently then was intended thus the confuzzlement of if the character is still dreaming or awake and speaking and just flashing back. Needless to say, its needs more tweaking before it can have a part in any of my books. Not bad for a series of five minute writing sessions though, at least I think. Comment away(: -eshy,

Dear Whoever…, #74

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Dear Whoever Fancies A Short Story Or Two,                                                             August 30th, 2012

This is a little tidbit I wrote from a prompt that I received in English class one time. The prompt was simply “The trapdoor in my closet…”

So here’s my spin on it:

The trapdoor in my closet leads to a stairwell that goes up to the attic bedroom that our house doesn’t have. Our house is a quaint one story house with three bedrooms with no attic. But in my imagination, it does, and nobody knows about it. A slide is hidden behind a stack of books. It winds down to my own private garden, full of yellow roses and a stone bench with a little tree with green leaves standing next to it. A little black pup awaits me. Slowly a smile spreads over my face as it jumps and softly yips in excitement of my approach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This one was so short and I feel bad for the poorly written short posts lately. Even if it does mean I’m posting more often. Hey, beggars can’t be choosers. So like I was saying,  I feel bad because my posts lately have been so short, because of that I’m offering up another little short one.

The prompt was something of this sort: You just won a five day trip to Paris and GO!

My response was this:

“I won a five day trip to Paris!”, I almost screamed I has so much glee within me.

“What?”, my mom asked.

“I won a trip to Paris!”, I repeated automatically with just as much excitement as the first time.

After much preparation, she took me to the airport and my adventure began. I arrived on time and the first person I run into was an artist.

—That’s where my answer ends. I totally meant to add more to that and write like a whole short story about an artist and how they change my character’s life somehow and all this… Needless to say it never got finished.

These are definitely not my best and I normally don’t share my writing or my thoughts so please feel free to comment and critique but don’t be too harsh. Be truthful but not just downright rude. I’ll leave that to your discretion.

-whatdya think? eshy,

Dear Whoever…, #75

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Dear Whoever Has Wondered If Their Life Would Be Made Into A Movie,                August 31st, 2012

I was asked a question as a prompt awhile back. January 1st, 2012 to be exact. The prompt was exactly this, I answered it pretty badly, I’ll share my answer following the prompt: Who should play you in a movie? Why? What would you write on the poster?

My answer was this: “Umm, I have no idea, possibly Taylor Swift ((even though besides skin color, well not even that really))  or an unknown actress that can make their big break off playing my role. I pity the person who would play me in a movie. I don’t really know what I’d write on the poster because out of all the things that could happen to me, my life being made into a movie is probably the least likely.

So now I ask you, who would play you in a movie? Why them? Would that character be the hero? The villain? Would they win or lose? What would be the theme? Love story? Epic action movie? A silent film? What would go on your movie poster? Please please you don’t have to answer all the questions just take your best stab at it, in the comments below. I’m quite interested in your answers, so hopefully, you won’t disappoint.

I’m waiting, eshy,

Dear Whoever…, #73

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Dear Whoever Has Ever Been Forced To Read A Book On Greek Mythology,                     August 19th, 2012

If you have been forced into reading a whole freaking book on Greek mythology, you’ll understand me when I’m not the least bit joking when I say I will never ever read that book again. I read Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightening Thief right before and let me tell you, what a let down after reading Rick Riordan for the first time.

And if you have been forced into reading a dry, yet informative, Greek mythology book as I have been so recently, you will understand my confusion about why in every single myth I picked randomly out of the book, that someone’s kid ends up getting cut up and made into soup and fed to somebody else. Why?! Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something, or maybe it’s my own sick self-conscious here. I don’t know, but one thing I do know is, I would have never had kids back in those days.

Oh and the other thing I don’t understand about Greek mythology, when it explains all the gods and goddesses and how they are related and stuff it’s like this god is married to this goddess, who is also his sister, and they had a son who was rumored to be this god’s cousin who was married to that goddess and they had this many kids with different people, and  on and on and on. And I get that a lot of people did that back then, even in monarchy days, people married family to keep the bloodline pure, and going, and keep the power within the family and all that, but geez, the gods were like a box full of hamsters. They just never ever ever stopped.

One more last thing on this subject, why in all the god’s bios are contradicting, I mean I get that some people are gonna hate you and some are going to love you, and it depends on how you treat different people and all that. But in the book it was like this:

god #1:

This god was known for blessing humans with water. He was loving and very nice to everybody. He’s also credited for giving man the horse. He is loyal to everyone and had a ton of kids with his one wife.

However, it is also to be said that he is an adulterous, hating, bastard who wanted to wipe out the human race and replace them all with demi gods.

god #2:

This god was known for being responsible for all harvest, crop growing, and in general, blessing the earth. Along with the earth, man too was blessed by them. He showed man how to plant corn during the dark days when people were dying without food. He watched over all crops and ensured their growth. He was very close to man because of this. He was very giving, generous, sweet, and kind.

However some of the histories say that they burned all the crops of the earth after their child was born dead, therefore inducing a worldwide famine. They got very pissed at the human race out of nowhere and decided to bring disease to the land killing off the animals and furthering the famine. This god was feared even after one of the other gods intervened. Nobody ever skipped prayer again. Not for anything.

Don’t take this the wrong way like I’m poking fun at Greek myths, stories, or culture. I’m not. I think it plays a very important role in our Western culture and civilization. I’m just saying the stories repeated and contradicted to me and I frankly, found them very useful yet boring. Kind of like how most people find instruction manuals.

The Zues Family Tree

I really hope you enjoyed this post. I’m sorry if you found it really lame, I tried. I tried to be funny so hopefully I got one of you to chuckle or at least grin a bit. Anywho, BE WARNED: do not piss off the deities or else you will end up a)being chopped to bits, b)fed to somebody in a soup, or c)dying of a mysterious famine that came out of nowhere.

                                                                                                                                                -remember I warned you, eshy,

Dear Whoever…, #72

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Dear Whoever Still Reads My Blog Even Though I Frequently Vanish From It,               July 29th, 2012

I won’t pretend to have a really good reason to justify my disappearing acts but I have a reason- Wordpress for some reason wouldn’t let me sign in successfully to my account. Therefore, I couldn’t really post as much as I wanted to. Anywho, enough excuses let’s move on.

I recently found a new blog to follow through the Freshly Pressed section of WordPress. It’s called Hayley Made: http://hayleymade.wordpress.com/  And even for having just 5 posts to start off with, I think it’s off to a really amazing start. It’s a pretty awesome blog. I like it a lot. So I followed it. I actually took it upon myself to make one of the things on the blog, a 3 dimensional letter made of newspaper. It looks way cooler than it sounds, trust me. It’s pretty amazing. Time consuming, but cool nonetheless.

There is a reason I mentioned the aforementioned blog, it inspired me. I have always liked to think of myself as a semi-artistic person. Can I draw? No. Can I paint? No. Can I take amazing pictures? Very rarely, but mostly not. I can write, sorta. That counts as an art right? Anywho, I like crafts, and make old junk into something cool, pretty, or usable. That makes me crafty I suppose, not so artistic. Whatever. The blog above me though has seriously inspired me. I don’t get that feeling a lot. However when I normally do, I always seem to not do anything at all with that inspiration. It makes me feel good. It gives me ideas but very rarely do I ever put it to work and USE it for something. Typically I say “when I’m older” or “when I’m less busy” or just “that’s a really amazing idea that’s touched me, I wish I could do something like that”. But never, ever, except very rarely, do I ever DOsomething with that inspiration. That is why I’ve been inspired enough by this blog that in the last 8 days of summer I have left, to start something, something cool, something I take pride in and that inspire someone else. I’m going to be doing my own crafts, my own D.I.Y.’s, my own crafty blog. Now, I already have two blogs: this one and another one I won’t mention by name. Both are WordPress blogs mostly because WordPress is pretty simple and basic and I understand how to use it, most of the basic stuff anyway. I thought about venturing out of the WordPress site on this one though just because it’s a hassle to sign in and out of my various accounts. However, I’m convinced that WordPress is the best blogging site, probably because I’ve never used anything different. For that reason, I’m staying with WordPress for my 3 accounts and 3 blogs. It’s probably not smart starting a new blog on a whim. Right before the busiest, and sometimes downright crazy, time of my life starts, but I’m doing it. God, so help me. I’m going to try to post as much as I can. Hopefully a lot more frequently then I have been lately. I’m not going to say I’m going to “try” anything else like making weekly posts to all 3 of the blogs because then I feel like I’m going to make a ton of might be bogus promises to a few random strangers who for some reason read this blog.

This is my writing blog mostly. It’s also my personal blog. HA! Personal. Blog. Posted. Online. For. The. World. To. See. HA! The irony! I couldn’t contain myself for a moment there. Onto more current things, I’m going to be joining NaNo once more but for something I’ve never done with them before… Camp NaNo. Never have I done Camp NaNo. So I’m figuratively taking a stab at it in August.  A new blog, a 50,000 word novel, and a new school. All in a month. If I’m not dead or completely sleep deprived by the end of the month it’ll be a miracle. The novel I plan on writing in August will probably be the exact same as my novel for November for my actual NaNoWriMo novel but rewritten and edited to bits. That’s what I’ll be doing in November and hopefully in December it’ll be ready to be published via CreateSpace.

The two blogs I have now I don’t normally mention each other on the other. Like I don’t advertise -let’s call it Blog #2- Blog #2 on eshysletters and I don’t try to get Blog #2’s followers to follow eshysletters. I just don’t like it. I believe people should follows blogs for the actual blog and they like the content, theme or whatever. Not just because they all have the same author/creator person. So after this I won’t mention the other 2 blogs on here. Even though I didn’t mention their names, or anything specific about them, please shoot me an email or comment if you’d like to know about them and then I’ll give you the links. Not advertising.

It’s been catching you guys up on my blog. I apologize for such a cut and dry post. Really I do. I’m really quite ashamed of myself. I call myself a writer and this is all I can give you, not cool, not acceptable. But it’s all my tired brain can think of at 3am and I thought you needed a post. So I suppose you’ll have to accept it or follow a different blog. Sorry, I really am. I hope you still stay on as a subscriber. I’m not going to promise it’s going to get better, but hopefully my posts will become a little less boring.

-with much love and even more apologies, eshy,

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